The Interplanetary Fishing Guild
Tackling the Universe's Most Bizarre Creatures with the Interplanetary Fishing Guild
The interplanetary fishing guild is an exclusive club.
Its members include the likes of the legendary Kelbab Zeetox who was the first person to pull up a fish larger than a school bus on a small planet in the andromeda galaxy. It also included John Fisherman who was genetically bred to be amazing at spotting fish. Surprisingly, his amazing genetic ability for spotting fish became such a distraction while trying to focus on just one fish that he wears a blindfold most of the time to prevent overstimulation.
Anyone who’s anyone is a part of the interplanetary fishing guild. It is a surprising thing. Life has become intelligent enough to jump between planets, yet it still seemed captivated by the archaic art of pulling creatures out of water with a line. Of course the Aquatic Lifeform Association (ALA) was against fishing as it endangered intelligent life in water.
However the opposition always argued that if it was dumb enough to bite the hook, it couldn’t have been very intelligent to begin with.
The art of fishing had evolved far beyond the hook, line, and sinker days. Interplanetary fishing was a whole different beast. More modern, more humane! When someone said they were going fly fishing they meant it. High tensile strength line hung from floating hover-ships. Adaptive nano-bait was used to pull creatures in. The bait utilized color changing nano-bots powered by an AI to turn into whatever each individual fish wanted most.
The bait was so advanced it was known to accidentally hook people if left in the wrong place. However the opposition argued that if someone was dumb enough to bite the hook, they probably deserved it.
All this high tech machinery was necessary. The fish being caught were no ordinary fish. With the entirety of the whole universe available you can find some pretty impressive creatures.
This was how Christian Smith was granted her place in the guild. She pulled a biblically accurate angel out of the water. This, of course, lead to religious fanatics labelling Christian as the next messiah. Things only got more confusing from then on. Due to the name conflict the fanatics couldn’t call their new religion Christianity, so they opted for Smithism. Those who practice Smithism call themselves Smithsonians.
The museum of the same name had been closed since 2024 after the US government focused all of its resources on going to war with the moon for having total control over the tides.
Though the guild of Interplanetary Fishers is exclusive, that doesn’t mean there aren’t lots of people doing it. Interplanetary fishing is actually the second most popular televised sport and its on the rise. The most popular and captivating sport was, of course, Baseball. What attracts people to Baseball, and Interplanetary Fishing is the danger. They trigger something in the pre-historic animal mind that keeps intelligent life hooked.
There really is nothing more exhilarating than seeing the air above the water covered in ships hoping to catch something big. Then a giant neptunian super-whale the size of a football field splashes out of the water destroying all but a handful of ships. Once the original barrage is survived the person who actually ends up catching the fish is the one who brought the most food. It can take anywhere from a few minutes to years for these fish to die.
Famously Jamie Heineman, named after the mythical mythbuster, was almost inducted into the guild, but died of old age before successfully bagging their catch. The fish died with him just a few months later. They now share a gravestone on the most prestigious grave planet Greece 2.
good read!!! i love you, nicky pooh